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All of the people she'd known with Ben had been her friends as well. Depriving herself of their company and comfort was just an exercise in self-flagellation.As the water ran over her, she composed another letter.Dear Ben,So here it is, almost time for the party. Neil's going to pick me up; I guess he and Sharon thought I'd back out. I guess I can't blame them, I've done it before. They weren't taking any chances this time.I didn't realize I was letting my feelings show so much. I thought I was doing a good job of hiding them, but it turns out I've been wearing it all on my sleeve, however unfashionable that may be. But I was never one for fashion, was I?I found the red dress, the one I never got a chance to wear for you, you idiot. You left before I could. This is usually such a glamorous evening for most people, and I should wear it, but it's not glamorous for me, not this year. I won't be drinking, or proposing toasts.Remember when we went to Neil and Jen's party? We both drank. "Maybe it would." I don't know..." Bonnie sounded doubtful. "It's private enough and all that, but..."Rocky interrupted with an amused tone. "Why don't you two cut straws to see who's going to be it?" Huh? What do you mean, us two?" Bonnie glared indignantly. "You men got special privileges or something?" Well, not that, but it sorta figures all three women ought to get a turn in the barrel first. Give 'em some incentive when it's our turn."Bonnie and Leanne exchanged stares and appeared to consider the argument. Myra remained silent, excluded from the women's side and afraid to align herself openly with the men; her urging would more than likely arouse automatic resistance in the women's minds at that stage, she suspected.Leanne laughed, a thrill of excitement showing in her eyes. "They're probably right, sweetie," she said to Bonnie. "I mean, we're not likely to hang back once we've got something to repay."Bonnie still looked uncomfortable. "I don't know whether that's going to.
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